Trust trust trust (Are you a man she can trust?)
Tamie has previously explored the sense in which women are ‘the weaker vessel’ (1 Pet 3:7). There is a sense in which being a woman means being vulnerable.
For us men, built to care for women, our lives must involve keeping women from fear (1 Pet 3:6). We need to empower women to trust God, which means we need to be men who women can trust.
Men are the ones who stand with women. A man is the one who goes in to bat for women. Sure, men are fighters, but men are the ones who fight for women. Fighting against women is Genesis 3 domination, and that’s fake manhood.
So get touchy-feely When she ‘gets emotional’, give her your utter respect. In those circumstances, you need to be loyal and supportive. That means you need to hear her and be sympathetic, and you need to avoid turning on the reason and rationality, trying to make her see things objectively, and solving her problems. There’s certainly a place for those things, and they can be a wonderful way in which you complement her — but those things come all too naturally to you, and all too naturally, you use them to be selfish. Rather than imposing your perspective on her, learn to see things from her side of the world.
So watch your words Think about the conversations you have with women. Obviously you need to watch out for arguments. More importantly, you need to watch out for things like ‘fun’ banter. Those throwaway comments — That’s a women’s issue; That’s just like a woman; Aw, have a cry — might not be crushing, but they’re all part of creating a climate of apprehension for her. Words matter! Our language can be so insidious, and even those supposedly harmless interactions are actually control mechanisms that you need to be aware of. If you’re committed to building her up instead of ‘putting her in her place’, then you won’t buy in to that kind of chatter. If you’re competing with her, setting out to win against her, it’s not on.
In all this, I’m not saying men should become more feminine or less manly. The thing is, by nature we are experts at cutting women down. Instead, be a man she can trust.