My grief counsellor showed me this diagram: It’s about ‘grief work’, which is a combination of doing two things: feeling the loss, and working out how you will go on. Healthy grief work is like a pendulum. You swing between the two, and the swings are big at first and […]
Since we moved to Dar I’ve been pretty isolated. I can’t get a work visa, but being a stay at home mum is not really a thing in middle-class Tanzania, so it’s been hard to even find people to be friends with. I had an American friend who worked full-time […]
We have discovered that we have a henna tree in our backyard. Callum’s nanny started picking the leaves and I asked her what they were for and that’s how I found out what it was. Where did I think henna came from before this? Did I think it was some […]
One of my mentors wrote to me recently that now that things are settling down a bit in our lives, it might be that the emotions that I haven’t had the chance to pay attention to while we were in survival mode will bubble up to the surface and unseat […]
We think our house hunting saga might be over. We have found a place, and have entered negotiations with the landlady. The house is OK – looks big from the outside but is modest inside. The garden is amazing – lots of shade, and absolutely massive. It even has the mango trees […]
Grief is …. a slow crush from all sides. …. the tsunami I am holding back until some of the other things settle down a bit and it can break. …. the pea under my mattress, as I wake each morning, surprised that my body isn’t showing the bruises of […]
Today is one month since Red Twin died. Arthur asked me if I think I’m depressed. I’m just so sad all the time. But I said no. It’s not been the 6-8 weeks yet (the normal initial adjustment period to shock or trauma) so I think it’s too early to […]
