Today is 8 weeks since we landed in Australia. 8 weeks is special because, in our experience, it’s when the (metaphorical) sun comes out.

Red Twin used to say, with her psychologist hat on, that any big change takes about 6-8 weeks to get used to. During that 6-8 weeks you ought to feel all over the place. In fact, if you’re not showing signs of strain during that time, there’s something wrong! But the human body and brain is made for resilience, and we adjust and incorporate and cope. So, if after 6-8 weeks, you’re still not coping, that’s the time to seek help, but before that, it’s normal not to.

In our family, we look forward to the 8 week mark with hope. We talk to the boys about it, that these feelings will not last forever, we will come through it and feel better. And we have! We’re here.

For 8 weeks Arthur has been vague and impulsive; I have been sensitive and weepy; the boys have drawn near to each other only to constantly aggravate each other and end up fighting. We have all been beyond exhausted, yet our sleep has been disrupted.

But on Saturday, they had a whole morning of saying things that built one another up rather than tearing one another down. They now get off to school most days without tears.

And the grown ups are doing a bit better too. I still have no idea what toothpaste to buy but my friend Nancy told me, “It’s OK to make the wrong decision,” and that helped. I feel a bit less overwhelmed by my incompetence. And last night I slept through the night and woke up without pain.

Our transition to Australia is far from over. This adjustment is different to all our others: this is not just a home assignment, where we get to go home to our normal life in Tanzania at the end. The rule of thumb CMS gives us is that for every 3 years you’ve been away, expect it to take 1 year to feel settled, and you may never feel ‘home’. That means, after 10.5 years away, we’re at the start of a 3 year process of coming to terms with the life we have lost in Tanzania and the changes to the Australia we remember, and trying to find our place again. But 8 weeks is the first milestone.

I remember Red Twin reflecting on some milestones in the first year of cross-cultural service. I expect we will find more as we go along as well.

Categories: Written by Tamie

Tagged as: A lesson about... missio lyf missio mum re-entry repatriation transition

Tamie Davis

Tamie Davis is an Aussie living in Tanzania, writing at meetjesusatuni.com.