The lifestyle of a student is great – in between studying for Greek, my addiction to daytime TV has returned! With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, Oprah spent today discussing love and relationships with sex therapist Laura Berman. One of the interesting stats that Dr. Berman brought up is that 60% of American women fantasise about being dominated, not in a horrible, demeaning or violent way, but in the sense of being ‘taken’ like the heroine in a romance novel.
As they asked various women for their opinions, it became apparent that the issue was control. The theory goes that women spend much of their day juggling a whole stack of different things and that they are always ‘in charge’. And that stresses them out, so they want to control things more. So they control their husbands and treat them like children. Which stresses them out more and disempowers their husbands. Which makes the relationship more stressful. Which means women try to control it more. Yep, so vicious cycle.
Dr. Berman’s solution to this? A surrender date. Which means that a couple go out on a date where the husband makes all the decisions – what she wears, where they go, how they get there, what they eat, what they do, etc. It’s a date where she’s out of control and entrusts herself to her husband. And, despite the fact that it’s hard to be out of control, women love it! Because for once they are not in charge and they can relax.
So Oprah’s advice to a married women is to let go and trust her husband, to surrender her control to him. Does this sound familiar? Because ‘surrender’ doesn’t sound that dissimilar from the ‘s’ word that the Bible uses. It may have taken Oprah and the modern world years to realise it but it seems that the Bible’s way is, in fact, the best way to live!
22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Ephesians 5:22-24
Tamie Davis is an Aussie living in Tanzania, writing at meetjesusatuni.com.