As Arthur was dropping a colleague to the bus stop after she had come to do a sympathy visit with us, she told him that they really wanted to support and care for me. Was there anything else they could do?
Arthur tried to work out what she was offering: meals? help with childcare? emotional support?
It was none of those things. She was offering to visit again and to sit with me again. That’s how you care for a bereaved person in Tanzania.
So, here’s a comparison of how to care for a bereaved person in our experiences of Tanzania and Australia. There’s more to say about both cultures, but I think this covers the basics.
Categories: Culture Tanzania Written by Tamie
Tamie Davis
Tamie Davis is an Aussie living in Tanzania, writing at meetjesusatuni.com.
What “works” for you?
I would be a mix of those categories.
Not sure. My natural instinct is to hibernate, but I also really appreciate people showing their care for me.
Very interesting. Which do you find more comforting?
Sent from my iPhone
I’m not sure I find anything much comforting at the moment. Being alone is awful, having people over is exhausting. But it’s nice to know that people want to care.
Which is more helpful? Is having someone stay for four hours helpful or not? Thanks
Hi Tamie,
Rich, if poignant / painful. I wonder if you saw this good discussion of death, grief and an Irish wake – any points of comparison (posted by colleagues in Sudan)? https://www.facebook.com/bbc/videos/2224550397560147/?hc_ref=ARS1-bmHmA7okYkWSHCWaCFHAcbBI7hk9xbhKGlqQpbD9fCLGLGrkUveQbbfgEOsIvc
love, Isabel
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How do you balance grieving in your inherited Anglo way verses grieving in an appropriate (for now) way?
I’m not sure it’s in my control. We accept the comfort of Tanzanians as a kindness to them. To be honest, I’m pretty isolated in my every day, so it’s not like I am inundated with company. We just rally when people tell us they are coming.
Fair enough
So what do you feel would be helpful for you, right now, as someone moving between both cultures?
Sent from my Samsung Galaxy smartphone.